


Again

by GStK



Category: Kagerou Project
Genre: M/M, route xx
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 16:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2236137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GStK/pseuds/GStK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's all blurry to you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Again

**Author's Note:**

> Second-person POV. Abstract. Vague spoilers. Implied violence.  
> Mekakucity continuity.

* * *

In the gaps that fall in between sleep and listless wake, you will forget:

* * *

One year and a little more of an almost-normal life.

Three people and a little less who almost made you feel okay.

Tests that you never remembered in the first place.

Twenty times she challenged you to shooting games.

Twenty times you won. Apathy.

The one time you challenged her instead.

The first time you won. Disappointment.

How tall he really was.

Sweets she gave you on Valentine's Day. The way she smiled when you didn't understand.

Sharing with him on Valentine's Day. The way his face lit up when you told him it was fine.

The way her pigtails bounced when she yelled at you both.

* * *

Red. The colour of the marks on both their papers. His appeasing laugh, just a little amused, when he promised to help her study.

* * *

How she would smile at him when she thought he wasn't looking. How she would smile at him when she thought you weren't looking. The face she made when you rolled your eyes at her. The face she made when you didn't, that one time, when you thought you finally understood.

That creepy, creepy fish statue.

Staying up until four in the morning watching scary movies. Regret.

Still getting a 100 on your midterm.

Avoiding your sister's eyes.

Every single one of her “ _good morning_ s.”

Every last one of his “ _Shintaro-kun_ s.”

Her wager.

* * *

Red. The colour of that scarf she always wore. Her fond laugh, just a little embarrassed, when she told you about heroes and courage.

* * *

Leaving school early when the boredom got to you. Hearing that she left as soon as you were gone. Surprise.

Staying after school so you could talk to him alone. How his hand glided over the paper, smooth and confident.

Having his sketchbook shoved in your face. Hearing every single thing there was to know about Konoha, ever.

Letting it slip. Facing her fury.

Discovering Coke for the first time. Ecstasy.

Finding out you liked music, but not like your sister did.

2chan. Interest.

2chan. Dismay.

* * *

Red. The colour of her face when he hugged her. The tongue-lashing she gave him, just a little happy, when she found her voice again.

* * *

Seeing everyone around you having crushes, love, romance. Annoyance. Complaining to him when it was just you two together. Calm.

Wanting to hold his hand.

Not feeling it. Not feeling it. Definitely not feeling it.

Feeling it.

Holding his hand for the first time.

Words from her you never heard – that you needed someone more selfish than you, if you were to have anyone.

Your answer, if you had: they didn't need to be selfish – they just couldn't be afraid.

The way he wasn't.

* * *

Red. The colour he never really had, just a little cruel, because fate decided he looked better in pale.

* * *

Tutoring her to make her shut up about homework. Not getting anything done because of her temper. Not getting anything done because of _your_ temper.

Tutoring her. Getting everything done. Relief. How well she listened. How badly she remembered things. Laughter.

The one time a match between you two didn't end in anger. The first time she won. The first time she stayed quiet.

The way she figured it out. Being asked – how did it happen? Answering. It just did.

The way time slowed to a crawl when he was in the hospital. Worry. Honest, terrifying worry.

How you couldn't go.

How she made you. The one time she managed to yell you into submission. The second time you thought she might not be so bad.

The 15th .

* * *

In the space wedged between blaring music and finality, you will remember:

* * *

Red.

He's still dead.

The scissors are in the bottom drawer.


End file.
